Jeppson’s Malort is a notoriously disgusting Chicago liquor that is said to taste like gasoline and burning tires. It’s creator was such an avid smoker that his tobacco-ravaged tongue couldn’t taste anything, except Malort. Here are some unofficial slogans Jeppson’s Malort “fans” have come up with through the years:
Malort, kick your mouth in the balls!
Malort, when you need to unfriend someone IN PERSON.
Malort, tonight’s the night you fight your dad.
Malort, the Champagne of pain.
Malort, turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations.
Drink Malort, it’s easier than telling people you have nothing to live for.
Malort, what soap washes its mouth out with.
Malort, these pants aren’t going to sh** themselves.
This is one Leather Jacket Guy needs to be on.